dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
