I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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