Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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