Already got asked if we're dating
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
