how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
