i think my mom watched the whole time
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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