Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
