Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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