so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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