Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
