If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
