He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize