dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
