He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I understand Curling. That high.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
