So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
