her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
