if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
