Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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