Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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