I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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