the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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