don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
