he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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