Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize