Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
