I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
