I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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