I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
