Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
