your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
