Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
