just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
