So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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