so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
