He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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