i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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