I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
