Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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