You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
