The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
