White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
