oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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