he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
