i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
