yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
