no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
