Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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