dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
