Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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