Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
