I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
