so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize