the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
