just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
