fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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