Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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