I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize