We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize