I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
