if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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