Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
