apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
