Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
